Fathers day

Dad.....................

Fathers day. A man I never got to know but is literally half of me.  I spent forty years looking for answers.  Knowing that I may never find them.  Then one click on an app of all things and there is was.  A match. A chromosomal match.  I had taken that test with my half sister so I could rule out the matches that would lead me back to my mother. 

This day, that match, related to someone more than my sister more than the only people I have known as family. 

Right there waiting for me to answer.

Longest two hours of my life.  I sent an email with my theory that I was the half sister to this match.   I was right.  My brother John.  Graduated in 1989 from the very same high school I did. 

I can say the words my brother from another mother.  Still makes me laugh.

He didn't know I existed either.

It never even occurred to me when I spit in that tube that one day I would find a sibling also.

It never occurred to me that someone else's life would change when I was found.  John was on Ancestry looking for any sort of family as his mother was passed and our father had passed. 

He has two grown children and a grandson the same age as my youngest daughter.  He now also has a sister a brother in law and four nieces.

He recently sent me a zip folder with photos of my dad and I have poured over them and over them wishing to just say hello.  I knew this was a possibility when I started looking that I would be to late so while sad I was mildly prepared for this very scenario.  The photos that stuck out to me where the ones for 1979 the year I was born.  In talking about this John had the same reaction as I.  He looks at them now thinking where was she when we did this. 

I wonder how may times I saw him and didn't know.  I still wonder did she know.  Why didn't she want me to know. 

She always said I was hers and she wasn't going to share me. 

I wish that one of them was here just one of them.